quickie

I saw a drug deal on the bus, had 2 tests, went to church, learned a parible, and am very excited to be done with my bio teacher and satrt spanish next trimester.

I listened to this song last night and cried

EVANESCENCE LYRICS

"Anywhere"

Dear my love, haven't you wanted to be with me
And dear my love, haven't you longed to be free
I can't keep pretending that I don't even know you
And at sweet night, you are my own
Take my hand

[CHORUS:]
We're leaving here tonight
There's no need to tell anyone
They'd only hold us down
So by the morning light
We'll be half way to anywhere
Where love is more than just your name

I have dreamt of a place for you and I
No one knows who we are there
All I want is to give my life only to you
I've dreamt so long I cannot dream anymore
Let's run away, I'll take you there

We're leaving here tonight
There's no need to tell anyone
They'd only hold us down
So by the mornings light
We'll be half way to anywhere
Where no one needs a reason

Forget this life
Come with me
Don't look back you're safe now
Unlock your heart
Drop your guard
No one's left to stop you

Forget this life
Come with me
Don't look back you're safe now
Unlock your heart
Drop your guard
No one's left to stop you now

crying

I'm crying, on the inside. on the outside a soon as i crawl in to my warm cozy bed. i just wish i could lie there forever. i don't want to deal with this cold, lonely, fallen world. i don't want to take on my share of responsibility that is coming... i don't want to be a burden to those who love and care about me. I need to figure this out but i can't do it on my own. I want to be happy i really do but how can i be happy when there is always something to make me cry? what if kate loses her job, what if i don't get to see joanna and julie? what if... why don't i care if i talk to a guy who is older than me? why??? I hate the questions. after that one talk with julie i really don't want to cut i want to run away. i want to cry my endless tears. i just want to be with joanna or someone who will love me NO MATTER WHAT that's it the key. there needs to be someone who wants to love me. wants to know my past present and fears of the future. this girl is sad alone and you can't help her.

an endless wave of tears.

I can't cope

another Christian thing.

Lord, when I feel I'm at the end of my rope
When I feel I just can't cope
I cry out to You Lord, in despair
Lord are You there and do You care?
Why can I not see Your face?
Whatever happened to Your grace?
I feel like I'm drowning, can't see the light
Though I struggle and put up a fight
Grant me the strength to hold on
For with You, I can be strong
I am drowning, I'm past my eyes
Oh my Lord, please hear my cries
I have been here too many times before
I'm at the end, can't take any more
Everything around me is such a mess
My inadequacies, I now confess
Oh Lord, please come and set things straight
I trust You now, with my fate
I work so hard, do the best I can
But I'm still here, in this jam
I am now at the end of my rope
There is no way left that I can cope
I cry out to You Lord, in despair
For I know You truly care



Why am I doing this? posting Christian things? After what Robyn and I talked about in church today/ I need to stop. Neither of us are Christians and we both know it. This is crazy. Life is crazy but we just try to live one day at a time. we just try and cope.

Happiness!

I am having a great day loving the lord, jesus and hearing a great guest speaker from Chicago, Debbie Blue. She talked about love. I talked to Debbie and she is very caring and inspired me to continue my search for Jesus.

About me

__ME__

Words that describe me:

quiet, thoughtful, modest, shy, caring, smart, honest, and relaxed.

People that describe me:

Joanna
Kate
Julie
Robyn

I am...
ENERGETIC
Your energy is boundless - you are racing ahead to some goal, dream or opportunity that lies before you. And you always make sure that you are two steps ahead of the pack. You move so fast through life that you sometimes forget to take time to smell the "proverbial" rose. Channel your energy into what lies immediately ahead of you and your future will be full of even more exciting happenings.


THRILL SEEKER
You are interested in anything that is exciting and pleasurable. You're not afraid to indulge yourself - you live by your own set of rules and don't allow yourself to get hung on what others think. For the most part, you are independent and do whatever you please to do. Trying to stop you from doing something only makes you want it even more. At the end of the day - you live for life's most thrilling moments.


ADVENTUROUS
It's a good thing that you are filled with energy and ambitions (that others sometimes find exhausting) because you're continually looking for a new adventure and exciting experience. You struggle with a continual feeling of restlessness which constantly pushes you to the next level of excitement. Once you have accomplished one thing, you are eager to accomplish something more exciting, riskier and distinguishable.


PHYSICAL
You are a cuddle bug - from a warm hug shared with your best friend to steamy sex with your partner, you enjoy every bit of human contact that you can get. You demonstrate your love for others most fluidly through physical one-on-one contact and you feel the most loved when you are being touched. You feel disconnected when you are physically isolated from others. You're a people person and a lover of all things human.


I like to: swim, read, ride my bike, eat good food, talk to my best friends, talk to my sister, email people, think, go on facebook, rockclimb, canoe, downhill ski, travel, have adventures, writing, traveling, trampoline, hanging out with people who make me love life.

Music
Favorite Music:
rock, soft rock, country, jazz, metal, alternative, Russian, spanish, Christian


Bands: Linkin park, Blink-182, Avril Lavigne, Green Day, staind, Good Charlotte, the beatles,
Pink, Carrie Underwood, Daughtry, Justin Timerlake, Yana Kay, Nellie McKay, Slipknot, Fall Out Boy, Nickelback, The fray, Hinder, Norah Jones, Evanescence, Everlife, Rascal Flatts


__Specific Songs__

Rock

Evanescence- Even in death
Evanescence- Lithium
Evanescence- All that I'm living for

Country/Easy listening

KT Tunstall- Under the weather
KT Tunstall- Other side of the world
Norah Jones- Feelinf the same way

Gospel/Christian

Amazing Grace
Let my life song sing to you
Fallen
Breath of Heaven



Favorite TV Shows:
lost, prision break, the simpsons, smallville, CSI, Law and Order

Favorite Movies:
the ring, national treasure, Bend it like beckham, Evan Almighty

Favorite Books:
Harry Potter, Crank, Burned, Candy, Bottled Up, Heart and Salsa, White Oleander, Things Change, Leslies Journal, It's kind of a Funny Story, The Broken Bridge, Walden, To kill a Mockingbird, The golden Compass, Gone with the wind

from the Bible: [[Bible verses does not necessarily mean I'm Christian]]

Psalm 69
Job 2 (4-5)
Job 2-9
Job 3 1-13
Revelation 12
Revelation 17
Revelation 18
Revelation 20:3


I don't like: war, Bush, Smokers, guys that just want to get down your pants.

The first post- lyrics

This is a song I saw on www.purevolume.com by Joshua. Its called Give it away.

Give It Away

I can see the pain seething through your eyes
Your outer shell is no disguise
Your life is spinning out of control
Why don't you just let it go

You're blind to the truth that's all around you
It's about time those knees hit the ground

You've got to give it away, whoa yeah

You've fallen to sin like a thief in the night
A suffocating presence grasping your life
The noose around your neck is getting pretty tight
It's a tension so thick you could cut it with a knife

You're blind to the truth that's all around you
It's about time those knees hit the ground

You've got to give it away, whoa yeah

Your soul's been missing all the time
It's killing you inside
Say what you will, say what you can
Just please put your life in His hands

You're blind to the truth that's all around you
It's about time those knees hit the ground

You've got to give it away, whoa yeah