God what the fuck? I hate this! I had a horrible day! If you were normal you might think it was ok but I'm not normal so I thought it sucked. I talked to Emily, didn't study in the morning when dale told me to and I had time at school. Didn't do (literally forgot) my psyc homework, didn't fix th math problem Dale also told me to do. didn't finish th spanish worksheet. did my english hw not to my standards, actually well maybe it is my standards but if it is why am i crying about it right now? I don't get my geometry ! Dale tried to explain it to me but sorry yougot a fuckin stupid niece. i don't know to whose standards I am living. I try to be perfect but I really don't try that hard. but when i fall short of my expectations I usually secretly cry. so then I really want to be perfect but now I'm kind of settling for someone with lower standards. I hate it. It's so confusing. and of course I decided to eat lunch today. I AM so DUMB! no really I sat at a table where i had to put my books bown before getting lunch then a bunch of aisian boys came and sat around me. It WASN'T me. they probably always sat thereand I just happened to be sitting there today. I didn't talk to them. then of course I had the issue of the dumb, fat, black "security Guard." OOhhhh she makes me so mad. I hope she rots in hell. sorry, if I decide to let you read this - yes I get mad sometimes and if you know me well enough I don't care what I say or write when I'm mad but most likely I just sigh and roll my eyes at everyone. Like when I was walking down the hall and everyone was being immature and childish people- and gosspiy. GRRR So I really felt like gouging someones eyes out. Thanks Joyce, Ya thanks alot- You passed on to me such a strength of hatred and supressed anger. I really just want to scream sometimes. I don't know why I have such an issue with authority. I just do sometimes. Like I pretty much knew she wouldn't let me go to my locker to put my books away during lunch but I hate hearing those grimy, unnecesary words out of her trap. And the metal gate inside doesn't help either. What is this- a penitentiary or a public school? I know why they do it. I know a lot I just fucking hate it for some reason. Everyone has the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. I have rights and I shouldn't lose them just bacause I am in school. I'm an ok kid. I'm not about to go do a drug deal, skip class or run screaming down the hallways, so I really don't see a problem. Ya but i really do know what the problem is- If they let me do it they have to let all the other bitches too and that would defeat the purpose. To keep the school a safe community- Do I care if it's safe? Hell no! Fuck life. I hate it.
Sasha
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